interview with victim
Tired Of People With Mental Health Issues Playing The Victim Card Constantly, This Person Shames Them On Twitter (Interview With Victim)
"It is important for people to receive some perspective that just because you have a mental health issue, it doesn't give you a free pass to be unpleasant and it is important to be responsible for your actions no matter the cause.”
Tired Of People With Mental Health Issues Playing The Victim Card Constantly, This Person Shames Them On Twitter (Interview With Victim)
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Just because someone has mental health issues doesn’t mean that there are no consequences to their actions—that’s the message that artist Quill, aka LutroDraws, sent the world from his Twitter account. He believes that if you’re rude to someone or you hurt them while having a mental health episode, you should apologize.

Quill himself stated that his rant would most likely anger some people, but he was being honest about how others are allowed to be “done with” the people who are making their lives difficult. As could be expected, the artist got a lot of online hate for expressing his honest views. However, some internet users showed their support as well, stating that people with mental issues are not exempt from the consequences of their actions and ought to show consideration for the people around them, not just themselves.

If you plan to visit LutroDraws' Twitter account, proceed with caution because some of the content posted there may be too graphic for you.

Some Twitter users stated that Quill’s point of view is inherently wrong. According to them, individuals with mental health issues are struggling to survive and they feel enough guilt as it is without apologizing. Meanwhile, others pointed out that apologizing is the least you can do if you make your loved ones’ lives difficult when you abuse them emotionally. All in all, the net was split almost evenly between those who supported the rant and those who were against it.

Bored Panda spoke to Imgur user Komer, who got over 1.6k upvotes for their comment about Quill’s post. The Imgurian revealed that they suffer from depression and anxiety disorders themselves, and went into detail about mental health.

Here’s what Komer said about their first reaction to Quill’s post: “It was good to see this seeing the light. Often, people who are on the receiving end of someone’s poor behavior during a mental health episode feel guilty if they aren't okay with the way they're being treated. So it is important for people to receive some perspective that just because you have a mental health issue, it doesn't give you a free pass to be unpleasant and it is important to be responsible for your actions no matter the cause.”

Komer said that “we can't diminish other peoples suffering because we feel that our suffering is more important.”

“Compassion is about mutual respect for each other. If you constantly take and enforce yourself as a burden to other people, they will remove themselves from that position and that is perfectly acceptable.”

According to Komer, the best way to apologize to someone for having wronged them is being honest. “You have to be honest to yourself first and accept responsibility for your behavior. Then you apologize and give thanks to them for their support. It is not an easy task, but it is important and it will help you heal and become better at coping, it will make it easier for people to help you, they will understand your suffering in a better light and strengthen your relationships.”

“As someone who suffers from severe depression and anxiety disorders, I know it is very easy to alienate people from your life and shut yourself down,” they added. “During these times, the people who care for you the most will always look to help you and you can accept that help but you must remember to treat them with respect, be honest about your feelings and emotions, and show your appreciation for their help.”

“It is never okay to use your health problems as an excuse to treat other people poorly, that is wrong and will only harm yourself as well.”

Hope Mental Health explains that there is a difference between apologizing when you treat someone badly and apologizing for the symptoms of your illness. In the latter case, there’s no need to say “sorry.”

While Natasha Tracy says that warning people in advance that you might have a mental health episode and what might happen is a good way to avoid nasty surprises. After all, people are more likely to forgive you if they know what to expect. She also stresses the importance of counseling and therapy.

Dear Pandas, let us know what you thought of Quill’s rant about mental health in the comments. Do you agree with his position or do you think he’s wrong? We’d love to hear your arguments.

Comments (50)
I have to agree. You may have been going through hell, but you may be dragging those who care for you through it too. Every time you decide not to get help, your actions are costing them too.
I like the often quoted "It's an explanation, not an excuse". This is my story. I often apologise for things I do due to mental illness, just as I apologise that I don't go to concerts due to photosensitive epilepsy. In the past I have used mental illness as an excuse to be rude, to get my way, and to be plain old mean. As with any medical condition I try to take things at a case by case matter.
Eliza Greenwood
Amen, this is everything, I am so over people being absolute shits and then just laughing it off like oop I'm crazy so it's okay you Have to forgive me. Nope you don't get to be a bitch and blame it on mental health
Karen Johnston
I have a 19 year old, that lives at home, that suffers from anxiety and clinical depression. She is being treated with meds, and they help. Since she was a little girl, she was constantly apologizing, but for things she didn't need to apologize for. On the other hand, when she's in the middle of an anxiety attack, she can snap at me with the voracity of a chainsaw. For that, she never apologizes. And I forgive her, because I love her. Maybe I should have a conversation about apologizing for stuff you actually have done, and not stuff that you haven't.
deanna woods
I absolutely agree with OP. I have been suffering for many years with depression and anxiety and I have had my moments where I have been a total and complete bitch. When I come out of my breakdowns I know I owe my family and friends an apology for having to put up with my screaming and rudeness. The moment that made me want to get help the most is when my mother, after witnessing another one of my meltdowns and begging me to get help, started crying. I told myself at that moment that I would never be the cause of my mother crying ever again. It is not our fault that we have mental illness, but it's also not our loved ones fault either. So like the OP said, instead of treating your loved ones like crap and saying it is because you are mentally ill, maybe get some help so you don't treat them that way anymore. The one response where he said he isn't apologizing for anything might change his mind when everyone he cares about walks away.
I`ve been dating a man diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He didn`t warn me about that since we started dating. Just something like "sometimes i`m not myself". He was completely unpredictable about his behavior. Right now he is thankful to you for the awesome breakfast - because no one cooked for him before - next five min he is furious that he is a man and i should not tell him what to eat. In couple of month i lost my strength and started to have a suicidal thoughts. Sometimes he said sorry, but it was like "i am who i am, deal with it". Once he told me that his last girlfriend jumped under the train. That was a real story - he was still in touch with her friends about that. But i understood clear that i should run. I feel sorry about people with mental problems, but about such thing they should warn people. It is dangerous to be with them and "sorry" isn`t enough for their impact.
François Bouzigues
That is something i often think about. I consider all violent people are mental. But not every people with mental conditions are violent.
April Simnel
I have a mentally ill aunt I grew up with, and it was only after she was taken in to custody at a mental health facility for beating one of her co-workers at her laundry job that she was diagnosed with schizophrenia with paranoiac features, borderline personality disorder (I have a lot of relatives with that one), and bipolar disorder. Her son and I spent our childhoods taking care of her, and she would hit us a lot. A LOT (among other sordid things). It got to the point where, at 32, I finally realized that I had to let my relationship with her go. She refused to accept her diagnoses and refused to get treatment, but still wanted to hit me when she was agitated. Felt guilty about cutting her off for years, however, as everyone is saying, it isn't her fault that she's ill, but it is her responsibility to do something about it. She's still not gotten any therapy. It's a real shame.
Alex Ruth
I pushed people away bc of my mental health/illness including my best friend who I known since I was 16. Bc of my anxiety, depression, and anger issues. I apologised. I'm getting help with it now with meds, three therapists and music but nothing ain't working
Country Nana
Sometimes it's hard to know if people are okay at one point or not. I've been on both sides too. I try to only judge myself. I also apologize, but we should acknowledge the fact that some people see that as an excuse to rag on you even though you've apologized a gazillion times. So I apologize, accept apologies, and if someone isn't apologizing for bad behavior due to mental illness I figure they aren't completely well yet. Some posters here have a lot of anger about having to live with someone who has mental illness. I know someone whose wife left him and screwed over his life because of it. Even though he's apologized and forgiven her, she's still basically a bitch. I figure she's immature. People
John Louis
A person's life circumstances never absolve them from bad behavior. However, conflicts are rarely so simple. The accusation, "You're always trying to blame someone else." is usually the first thing people say when they are mad. I have never met anyone who exclusively blamed their mental health problems or chemical dependency or poverty for their bad behavior.
Suzi Gauthier
Nobody has to apologize for anything, but you won't have many friends if you don't.
Your Daily Dose Of Lesbian
I have diagnosed anxiety, NVLD and ADHD. I don't play the victim card constantly. I fight through every fucking day with no friends to talk to and stressing about coming out as Lesbian and asexual to my birth parents. Not all help helps, but if you fight for your well being, your life will be a lot better. Please don't take this the wrong way. I wanted to do art and music in my IB school, but because of my anxiety and NVLD, I couldn't. Play the victim card only if you need to, like that. But if you lash out at someone you love, don't blame your mental illness. Thank you. Love you all!
Lauren Ringel
As a woman/sister/child/friend/employee of mental health sufferers, if one acts poorly, one has to be accountable for their actions/words. I have said and done so many rude and hurtful things but I don't give myself a pass to be a bitch because I'm having anxiety. F that. Own up to your shit.
Ionescu Popa
The problem with the mental health is it only points towards those who can't adapt to this mad society. All the others - psychopaths who take leadership positions, sociopaths who commit smaller crimes or abuses - get a blank check to new felonies. Fix your society and then demand apologies! All these jerks got away (at least in this life) because they demanded apologies with the whip in their hand. They should fell the whip here, too, so anyone can learn something. My opinion is they are born evil so the can be processed immediately, before affecting anyone else.
I hate people using mental health issues as an excuse to be an assh*le to everyone and not apologising for it. I've lived with people like that and it's just exhausting. I have a mental health condition, and I have lost my temper because of it but I will apologize and take responsibility for it. People who don't will get told to take a hike and take their sh*t with them..
Celeste Grant
I think it's important to apologise because you never know what the person you've lashed out at is dealing with themselves. If you behaviour impacts on someone else you need to recognise that and apologise, whatever the root of that behaviour. I had to walk away from a friend who repeatedly hurt me by saying the most hateful things when she was struggling with depression. She expected me to be her punchbag and yet if I ever did anything that she felt wasn't supporting her the way she wanted she would make me apologise about it for months. She could be lovely when she was well, but after several years I decided I couldn't take it any more. She said she was ill and that expecting her to apologise wasn't fair. I tried so hard to be supportive but it was never enough. We don't speak now, she still tells people how bad I am for walking away, but I decided I couldn't let her stamp all over my mental heath just because she was struggling.
In some...and most states, few of you all recognize, there are limited mental health services. If you are "lucky" enough to have many to choose from...good for you. Most of us have one to three people to choose from. I apologize for my behavior, and I want to say I'm getting help, but when it takes six months to get an appointment, I'm dong the best I can, but in some states and most of the US, services don't exist. I'm sorry, but I can't find help. Mental illness services don't exist. This country is "#1", but it really isn't in medical services, especially therapy. Please recognize!!
Julie BT 120
If you are in a wheel chair and you run over someone's foot....1) its not your fault your in a wheelchair 2) you likely didn't intend to run over their foot. 3) you should still apologize because you hurt another person. Mental health is no different.
Id row
This so goes against the common entitlement attitude and refusal to take responsibility for your actions that's so prevalent today, that's why this person is getting backlash on it. If I had a physical condition that caused me to break something in someone's house, like from a seizure or fall or something, would I be entitled to not apologize because an illness caused it? Same thing here. You don't get to treat people like an emotional punching bag and just have the 'deal with it, I get to do this' mentality.
D. Pitbull
Are the kind of people who, even if they had NO mental illness whatsoever would **still** be inconsiderate jackasses. Just because you have an illness doesn't mean you get an automatic "They're good people and mean well" card. Ohh... s/he's an amputee... they MUST be good hearted, wonderful people who are just grouchy and mean because of the loss of limb! Oh really... so you think Oscar Pistorius deserved a pass for his crime??? Yeah. NO. Y'all cry "I want to be treated like a normal, decent human!" - well then for crying out loud, ACT LIKE ONE.
I’m indifferent to this. Sure I agree that we should take responsibility for our actions and apologize if we offend others, but at the same time as someone who has extreme anxiety and can have a tantrum as described...I literally can’t help if. When I’m having an attack I’m extremely irrational and it takes some time for me to cool off. I will apologize for my behavior, but I don’t deserve to be wrote off. No one is perfect and people with anxiety are just like anyone else, imperfect and should be accepted for those flaws just like everyone else. That’s my 2 cents
I think it's important to point out what an apology should be (imho). An apology isn't an eraser that automatically cancels out the receiver's anger, hurt, or inconvenience. An apology should be a way of saying "thank you for letting me know that I hurt, angered, or inconvenienced you. I value our relationship and I'm in a better place now, and I'll do my best to make sure I don't hurt, anger, or inconvenience you in this way again." Real apologies are hard because they mean that you're taking on the responsibility for changing your behavior. That can be a difficult thing to do because our mental health journey is often not a straight line.
panda to nobody
If you ghost a long-time friend because they got mentally ill, but you never had an issue with them before they got ill, and then cut them out of your life without even talking to them about it, though, you're a piece of shit.
Ausrine Ciapaite
It really depends on the situation. Some people are trying to get better and they need all the support and patience available. Some people don't seek help but at the same time avoid "burdening" others. Some don't treat themselves and use their illness as a way to get things their way. Some do seek help but at the same time are afraid to heal. Last 2 cases are "woundology" cases. When person consciously or unconsciously don't want to heal because they gain something out of it (attention, money, exemption, etc.). It is actually quite a big problem.
Leo Domitrix
Being an a**hole isn't part of mental illness. it's a rotten coping mechanism for mental illness in some people, but it's not the fault of the illness. Diagnosed with PTSD, still fight every day to make sure my hell stays *mine*, so I don't do to anyone the shi* that gave me the PTSD. Peace.
shyanna banana
i agree with quill and i had a friend just the other day lie to my best friend saying she liked him and they were dating and she wrote on a paper that she didn't like him and tried to punch me she said if he finds out her plans of getting her made up mental problems under control would be missed up they broke up i guess this doesn't relate but i mean ya
It's me NOT mario
i agree
D. Pitbull
Yes!!! Been on both ends and seen both ends in action. The person who essentially sabotaged someone else's work and made their daily life a living nightmare, complete with humiliation in front of customers...this person knew the moment they said: "I have deep insecurity and depression issues" they'd be 100% forgiven and allowed to continue their tyranny. I have bailed on many events before due to anxiety/depression/etc... and finally realized, guess what??? I dont' have the right to screw up other people's plans just because "I'm ill". Fortunately I wasn't able to use that as an excuse often... as Asians don't treat those who are mentally ill 'nicely'. Many of the 'old guard' believe the mentally ill need to all be locked up. Bottom line... those who use it as an excuse rather than explanation and are not even TRYING to cope or get better ... 1/2
I have asperger's. When I was a child that didnt exist and was diagnosed with ADHD. My mother was always high and neglectful, my step father was abusive in every possible way. I never received any medication for my condition. My father got custody of my see sister and me before high school. As a teenager I was depressed and angry thinking no one understood me. I lashed out at people and had no friends (I don't blame them,I was awful.) In college, all that changed. Puberty ended, I stabilized emotionally and I learned how to recognize my actions. I apologized to people I did them wrong. You will never learn to heal and cope if you cant recognize your own destructive behaviours. I bless my parents for never putting me on medication.
I’m Foxxy and I know it ?
I very much agree. I know my mental health effects my moods and I have taken it out on others but I always apologise. Just because I have mental health issues does not give me an excuse to be horrible and get away with it.
teeshy hedding
I have a friend at school and I have always been really annoyed because that's all she ever talks about, this had made me realise that I'm not a Mean person, thanks for posting!
Manyin Tom
Foward to Ex Gf....
I agree. I get sometimes it can't be helped (if it's legit) but more and more you hear this one excuse for everything in the news now and it's getting old.
Boaty McBoatface
Yet you can be acquitted for murder because you have a mental illness
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